Torn

old truths
like mine
be mine or not
dreamless relics
in time
in rock
in sun
in wind abrading sand
a jack rockets leaps from a gone tree into the sun unafraid
and I see the tracks of an old lie
a piece of life frayed
torn at the edges

jppestana
12.30.17

Not I

so the poem
is not the poem
not to think only
not this day
not in these eerily fleeing shadows
the tears
not the cries
hearing pain
the weak voice in thin hills
not her wrinkled linen dress
worn yellow under the sun
so the poem is
not the poem
not the poem
not I

jppestana
november 25, 2017

Rising Skies

from the east
the sun and juniper suddenly become one
the blanket of blue mist 
the calm mountain the moment
all the small birds
soften in the gaze
the bright fish rise to the surface
like shards of broken sun
they run from his shadow
his diminishment amidst
the rising
skies

jppestana
november 8, 2017

A Short Walk

walk these clouds with me
without the sound of gentle feet
smooth skin sliding toward an intimate sky
take a chance
take the sweetest sleep
sing the hymn
of bright light
is this the next step
on the way to eternity
or reverse time
and return ever so slowly sweetly
to the memory
of this short walk

jppestana
august 31, 2017

Blink

see the sun absorb
the distances in me

wasps floating on the pool sip
indistinct in wind
little ripples

the beaten trees thrash about
somewhere the air breathes
a sigh of relief

the air is moist
the dust thick absorbs
cakes the sun

the blue seeps from the sky
the wind cries alone

idly I wonder about

blink

jp pestana
7.15.17

The Return

ask yourself
there
the return 
of hummingbirds
deep rains
glistening rose
purest
tear
air

did the showers touch
your sun filled skin
did the hummingbirds return
to the sweet nectar
yearning

a

quivering

leaf

jppestana
july 14, 2017

Absence of Shade

over cracked stone
it trickles
spills runs in the thin fissures
sunny bubbles explode
crater on smoothing waves
everything about him is still
in the absence of shade
she is the long days
drumming heat
she is like
wasps to water
sipping
stinging
in her
erratic
flight

jp pestana
june 19, 2017

Breathless

the crow echo in sun
wing away
the pine is dead
alive with finch
breathless
dogs panting
the sun encroaching
over miles miles
the wind owns this land
the dust the wind
breathless
pines erupt
in their confused
flagrant ways
it is the rain
a moment
that never comes
breathless
her hair brushes
his cheek
her finger
pointing
to a gray
and discarded
sky

jppestana

June 5, 2017

Nauvoo Stanza 10

a cup of sweet coffee
a couple stray clouds
the blue disrupted
the blackbirds have taken to the trees
they absorb me
they all speak at once for hours
I am uninvited to their conversations
what do blackbirds have to say anyway
that is so important
they leave me
knowing less
than the pine
nauvoo

jppestana
2.21.2017

NAUVOO ( Stanzas 1-9)

don't look for more

it is only the moon above the sun above the moon

you as much the moon you hovering sun all the more in blue

the buddha stands stares in spring's wet earth

he is caught between the river 

your  mountains between the crane

and crow between the senseless dove

singing finch

it is the nauvoo 

the new of you

the coyotes dark shadows

own the washboard road

the old fence marks the sold ranch
only the coyotes stand defiant
in the biting cloaking dust
lope away to the north
to their snow dusted mountains
nauvoo

from the mud from the muddle
from mumblings of one tongue
sweeter than the next
breezes silk his cheeks
one way or another
whispers become screams
screams become whispers
nauvoo

tenuous us
the clouds colorless blameless
bind the wanting sky
bind the mindless wanderings
desert beggar
beggar of tokens gold
a midas alone
finally cleansed
in his river
of nothingness
nauvoo

touch me when the wind
touches the sun
am I enough of a forgiveness
enough of what
you want me to be
the voodoo
the truth
a breathless magic
throw of the bones
the rattle spitting sparks
becoming stars
smoldering moon
becoming you
nauvoo

wishing you
nearer wishing
bothered wishing
helpless wishing you
wishing the sun and moon were one
wishing on the stars
like the song you sung
on the last night
last kiss
of my
insisted
existence
nauvoo

the beating drums
cymbals
the distance before me
is a circle spinning
it is closer than
I think and thinking
should be outlawed
feeling is the new law
of the land
the cymbal
a frantic dance
a mad tango
nauvoo

she claims this is not a place
it has no center no core
I think of places before her
and after her
the negative space
between the cottonwood
holds the cattle
the sandhills
shredded light
maybe this is a piece
of something
a place
nauvoo

I cry for the sake of tears
for the portuguese sea
the horse rests his head against my cheek
breathes warmly sleek neck mahogany
ebony mane
where is the poetry in an animal
malice of man
perversions
of verse
mistaken
for me
nauvoo

jppestana
2.20.2017

Maybe Down the Road

between placitas

and santa fe

sweet clouds fall

from the sky

flutter

land in

snow

maybe feeling sees me

beyond my senses

maybe it's just

algodones

my eyes wander

first in desolation

return only

with small treasures

pleasure of a smooth

stone bleached

bone

then maybe see

some odd dawn

of timeless light

unearthly arousal

surrender of

all kinds

then

lingering

stillness

is this child awakened

a late celebration

scarred heart

worried words

soaring song

maybe it’s the raven's tree

hidden in the pitch

darkened in the wind

trembling like an unsteady hand

drunken

with pen

jppestana 1.23.2017

Speak To Me

you speak to me in dream
the dream that speaks in deep
or restless sleep
in the now
or never
the howl
the whisper
the torrent
the drip
the look
the touch
the song
the silence
the sun
the cloud
the drought
the flood
the flame
the freeze
the stone
the flower
the father
the mother
the birth
the death
the tremor
the quake
the fear
the tears
the love
the loss
the winter
the winter

january 21, 2017

Old Friends

he shuns redemption

like an old friend unvisited

missed for ages

his sins
unwanted guests

choose to stay

stain his foolish soul
an endless confession

remain his unsaved

unrelinquishing
grace

old friends

of another

kind

jppestana january 19, 2017

Dark Charms

what world was born

your dark charms

are they locked away

in some guarded spot

the tower from which you see eternity

for what it can be

an instant burst

afterglow of teasing souls

I see a history of you

your casual torments

scribbled notes

on yellow wrinkled paper

and I wanderer

cower in your tempting shadows

afraid that I like cobra

will be kept in a woven basket

only see the sun

when your dark notes play

when coins dropped

by curious tourists

in a cup ring

ring in the trance

sway of my

hypnotic

dance

jppestana january 19, 2017

Caught

A low moon in blue snow

A passing car

Bright lights passing

Chasing snow

A moon unharmed

Caught in blue snow

jppestana january 12, 2017

Or

and my january land

is all tans rock and grass

interrupted by juniper

the sun does

the best it can

struggles above me

tries to break free

of its restraints

and the clouds

impossible to tell

if the mountain 

is cloud

or the cloud 

mountain

jppestana january 10, 2017

Dissolve

for a moment forget

the poets' timely rhymes

unreasoning seasons of love

after all what do they know

but their own rapture

I say no spring is needed

for these fleeting hearts to flower

no fresh rain to boldly cling

to the warmth of their

captured bodies

wet cotton

its in these cold

shaded whites

grays of winter

precarious clarity

of dripping ice

that spark

the easy dreamers

chasing blossoms

dissolving

to dreams

jppestana january 9, 2017

Elijah

I feel

there is more to this

than meets the eye elijah

we are going to rise again

from this low sofa lowly life

face the day together as one

chat up the chatty blackbirds

the reluctant crow

in this heat wilt of leaves

crowning flowers

on this crust of earth us

we will call down the thunder

roar of sky

strike fear in the hearts

of the helplessly heartless

be our pagan selves

dress as lions cunning and king

crazy saints praying up a storm

calling to the heavens

they are waiting for you elijah

if only until the sun is done with itself

until this safe harbor of stars

is safe no longer

jppestana january 9, 2016