Immortality

 

in your eyes what light blinds

shatters this normalcy what more

word or whisper or kiss

it's all the same to me

enter this light redeeming willingly

it is the summer of you

a brilliance becoming

a warming heart beating

healing the scars

on scars loss upon loss

the immortal impatient

waiting restlessly

at the door

 

Immortality

jppestana

12.19.2020

The Rummage

it is a day that never begins

from the window dead leaves die

die again fall away

a cold wind breaks against a stone wall broken

vultures hunched on old silos stare coldly

an old man on the road stares back

there is no why

seeing the dark masses of rising starling falling loudly are they

what passes for sky

a woman's voice calls to no one

the attic stairs are darkly worn

a dim light creates more shadows than light

the woman's voice calls again

bothered her words are buried deeper

then again

jppestana

The Rummage

12...8..2020

 

Before and After

when there is nothing left to see

blindly pleased you see everything

before me

and what little is left you feel escaping

like some bandit desperately riding away under an all consuming sun

and strangely you leave me abandoned

a victim speechless here

in the before and

after

jppestana

Before and After

12.8.2020

My Desire

bring the beautiful flower to me

it is my desire

it is the sum of all things in this minute

of all things

it is the striking sound

of a breeze repeating in frail leaves

all around me leaves reveal

a season nameless desiring

waiting for the lightest caress

let today be the day when paths cross

when a smile used but once

fans the flames of a sun in bare fields

a fog rising from dampened earth

a shimmering puddle of desire

shaking off the wings

of darkly nervous

birds

jppestana

My Desire

11.26.2020

Spanish Dance

slowly the crow lower than ever overhead

shed the remaining rays of day

their wings move thick air pulse

the boy in him lies in the same place he was born

lies in the subtle disguising dim but wonders out loud

stares into the flood of blue space

bridges collapsing in the stream

this is the distance in him speaking

this is the travel of one

freely fearlessly he dances dances

at last ecstatic he applauds

there is no one to hear

no one to see

the last of this

his spanish

dance

JP Pestana

Spanish Dance

11.22.2020

 

A New You

I have no memory

of dark suns running from me

of the thunderous irritations

of a frightened night

of the abandoned child crying broken

in a grove of broken trees weeds over graves

but I should

but please go ahead

set me free from the most heavenly among us

enthusiastic clap of dead eyes

echo of the most righteous ghosts

echoes of hollow lies

and who is the he that stands shivering uncertain

pleading to the most minor of gods

mythical bowing

to the new truth

of a new

you

jppestana

A New You

10.26.2020

Death of Birds

within a circle small

children kneel

in their tears crumbles

of warm earth

the sky calls their names

growing softer over time

the conflicted light embraces

its telling shadows

their lowered eyes

hidden from me

time crawls stops

the great egret passes high

so slowly over tall trees

green summer water

is this the illusion

ask me again

ask me when it

begins again

when the death

of birds and

the cold hand of truth slaps at me

wakes me from this holiest of

restless sleeps

Death of Birds

jppestana

10...2.2020of

Hurricane Rain

dogs bark harshly at nothing seen

a shrinking sky obscures

it's comes as sure as louisiana drowns

the old church bell tolls its loneliness less me

sees what there is to see

meet the newly half blind man

weeping trees

the brown stream through the heart

races crazily from here to there

from the same trees emerges the shoeless woman

holding her shoes high

black dress clinging

black umbrella twisting in wind

she splashes happily

going her own way

to her only

eternity

jppestana

Hurricane Rain

8.30.2020

 

Hurricane Rain

dogs bark harshly at nothing seen

a shrinking sky obscuring

it's coming as sure as louisiana drowns

the old church bell tolls loneliness less me

sees what there is to see

meet the newly half blind man

weeping trees

the brown stream through the heart

races crazily from here to there

the shoeless girl holding her shoes high

clinging black dress black umbrella spinning

splashes happily

on her way

to her only

eternity

 

jppestana

Hurricane Rain

8.30.2020

Collection

if I could only remember you

what you showed me when 

my sight was dimmer 

than the lost caves 

of my youth

in my usual stumble

I see impenetrable clouds towering

brilliantly impossibly blue they collect me 

push me to the edge

did you ask me 

what they were

and below me sweetgum and sassafras

easy growing willows

a mottled sun straining to be seen 

in the last days 

of collected

puddled 

rain

Collection

jppestana

8..23..2020

 

Collection

 

if only I could remember you
what you showed me when
my sight was dimmer
than the lost caves
of my youth
in my usual stumble
I see impenetrable clouds towering
brilliantly impossibly blue they collect me
push me to the edge of this
did you ask me 

what they were

what they mean

wonder aloud about my helpless soul
and below me sweetgum and sassafras
easy growing willows sway

a mottled sun trapped 

in the knotted grass

of collected

puddled
rain

 

Collection
jppestana
8..23..2020

Serenity When

when nothing is all there is

I am able to give more of the same

dig deep into my empty pockets

scrape away my empty plate

see through me retreating into these darkening blues

froth of you leaving returning over sunken jetties

a squealing pulsing sea

your eyes stare into a longer story unread

but truer than any contemplations

serenity when

there is nothing left

to be

Serenity When
jppestana
7. 26. 2020

Not Sure

not sure these tears that arrive
from nowhere else mean anything
not sure they even belong to me
they come go easily enough
like friends once then unremembered
then there is the lone tear
crossing the territory of this aloneness
vast indistinct mapless
is this the mirage of the birth of I
I begin to cry as the lost child would
see the slow death of a horizon
not sure
sure

jppestana
Not Sure
6.28.2020

Awakened

On this morning
hummingbirds were in their nectar
before the sun
I cheerfully welcomed them.




jppestana
6.19.2020
Awakened

The Drum

a marching darkness

fell upon the land

the sun retreated

then surrendered

shadows ran from

themselves

only I

JP Pestana

The Drum

June 1, 2020

Sparrows In Roses

the sparrows unworried in roses don’t know

the crow strutting in buttercups clover

don’t know

the woman darker than any night drowns

her sorrows in cheerful tears

her lonely intonements

the poet calls to her

she bowing silently in the holler

of a knowing sun

JP Pestana

5.28.2020

Sparrows In Roses

Then Human

then human
or so wanting
of broken moments remains
erased in a cruel instant
then when the light comes final
too late to see the reaching hand
touch the racing heart
or me then more
or less human retreats invisible
you certain of one thing know
I cannot hold a candle
in this flickering light
a window opens curtains whisper sins extinguished
with barely moon or star or
ghostly birds dreamt
I know what I have become
it is not me chanting loudly
a maddeningly oblivious apparition
a lurking monster
or poor excuse
for one
then un-
deserving
human
again

jppestana
Then Human
4.26.2020

Reason

brush away
what is left of the sun
the make believe
the things you said
the undone shapeless brilliance
and you have me

dance wildly if you wish
in the shining circle
of my mindless lies
quickly name me in the memory
of these meaningless things
of this runaway dream
that surrounds us

I have forgotten now
in the time there was
for everything
now there is no time
no clock unwinding
no clamor to be heard
no willows waving their
final goodbyes
for the time being
now no reason
at all

jppestana
Reason
4.18.2020

Bohemia

the wind is the scream
of all these wings
a grateful rain racing
into open arms bohemia
the river of her is part of this
all of this
she waves with envies
the joy of gulls
traces herself in a slipper of cloud
close to her men with dark eyes
burnt skin farm
turn the earth
the slow moving current wander
of his mostly dulled
senses

JPPestana
Bohemia
3. 31. 2020

The Robin In Holly

is this mist living silver
drifting weakly in these distant greening fields
searching for itself
hoping to find its way
back to her creation her
and the mist settles
and a branch heavy with berries moves
a robin bouncing low
in holly

JPPestana
The Robin In the Holly
3.3.2020

Line By Line

crow frozen in cornrows sway

slowly lift in the rawboned wind

line by crooked line they leave

wind their way through the dusty fragments

specks of a sunless day

he hums whistles sings crazily

the shouting wind grins joins in

as one they listen to the gathering husks

stalks silk

remnants of men

telling stories

without

end

Line By Line
JP Pestana
2.25.2020