Her

it isn't enough to see listen

the gulls cry wildly above

stealing bits of cloud daring thieves returning

on currents of bright air

do they now return what they have stolen from me

it is all the ring and chime at once

merging this other place this other time

a craving sun worshiping sea as far as the eye

witness to this dangerous orchestration of wave upon wave

crashing desperately

onto a shore

less certain

than

I

JPPestana

Her

12.15.2022

 

Loose Ends

 

under the rain shaken free

from the maple's golden shade

from the torrent the day before before

how does it remain in its glistening drops

stay with me in dreamless days and

nights awakened by the sound and tremor

of a life this dazingly (madly)

unaware

JPPestana

Loose Ends

10.14.2022

 

The Last Fall

reach for me as the perfect petals

of the last flower does reaching 

for a failing sun

am I failing with it

and when does one question leave shadows

darker now encroaching devouring

every little thing

rhyme and reason still struggle

unannounced unseen unheard

yet the sky quakes from the silent roar

of her answering

outstretched

eyes

 

The Last Fall

JP Pestana

10.18.2022

 

The Porch

dogs I sit beside

idly shoo a fly here and there

melancholy is a holy right right now

we share in its blunt protections

a summer morning is never quite the silence we expect

there is it seems a persistent rattle

like a snake lost in thick grass warning off only itself

dogs I wonder aloud about a heron

blue as day stuck on the palest smudge of moon

why doesn't it just fly away

it is oblivious to us

our intent stares

close by willows that have never wept survive

but little else

dogs have gone over to the low shade of oak

leave me no emotion

only the buzz of some unknown insect hovering

over the intersection

of a most perfect

blankness

The Porch

8.18.2021

JPPestana

 

When Silence Ends

when silence ends

there are no more fresh beginnings

only the bitten bleeding tongue

stale room of cruel stares

you come slowly to the unwelcome

knowing there are only the dreaded circles

dull repetitions of the invisible drum

of crushing middle things

of a dozen or so indifferent crow

searching in a rutted dirt yard

mindless of your

echoless

pain

jppestana

When Silence Ends

7..8 2022

 

Crow Over Corn

o you the most forlorn of all

where are the doors that let you in

I want them hidden chained locked forever

I have driven aimlessly in hope to see the sun dissolve before me

it refuses to do so

lost on a narrow road it comes to an unlooked for circle

a gate with sharp wire a thrush sits stares

barely flies into churning august trees beaten by

a cursed heat

a longing song on the radio of my emotions plays and plays

can a body stop being a body I ask

the air becomes voices over voices a maddening chatter

shattering like hammer to glass

the boy in me runs for home

I never meant for it to be like this

the leaving road narrows more

crow

rowing

over

corn

JPPestana Crow Over Corn 6.5.2022

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Wild Hedge

 

is this anguish

a broken road to

an unmarked end

before he was what

he was well enough

looking back over winter fields

plowed under a weakened sun

he languishes along miles

of wild hedge

allows himself to become one or

the other for even

an instant

a hopeless tangle

of honeysuckle

laurel climbing rose steals senses

from a wandering mind

a horse slowly walking alerts him

to a fluttering cloud

he knows it at once

unannounced a blue jay drops

with drama from

a sweetgum

persuades him

he has arrived

in just the

quick of

time

JP Pestana Wild Hedges 5.31.2022

 

Is

 

is this the autumn of all autumns

from the drumming grouse on

the hollowing log the ground shakes

spaces become space

the sun complacent is swallowed whole

in golden leaf and canopy

it seems the day is later than ever

brightly pleasant lies arrive without warning

the harmless kind like sweet

butter melting on warm bread

you reach for my hand

free me from my vacancies

in this case

of mistaken

serenity

 

JP Pestana Is 5.21.2022

  Shoveling the Sun

 let me spend myself to ruin for you

I have lifetimes to spare 

plenty of change to make

these layers on layers of blue you baked

into a cake of whipped cloud 

how did you know it was my day

puddled shades of blue unimaginable

before you keep me alive a flower

begging for any rain 

you ask me about love

about the meaning of me

shoveling 

the sun

 

JP Pestana  Shoveling the Sun 5.17.2022

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 The Red Coat

it hangs long and worn

faded and misshapen 

hangs from a rickety tree 

in the corner  

of a more 

rickety 

room 

I keep returning to take it with me

and somehow leave without it

never remembering

or forgetting

ever between the in in me rattles

the creaks of knotted

pine warn

the wind is at 

the window

the red coat still 

within my

reach

JPPestana The Red Coat 5.13.2022

 

Start To Finish

 

the thundering echoes

of a hollow heart pound

shadows of a mortal form quake

shy away

dying shouts of wind

leave nothing

to mourn

below

light

finally

finds

me

chimes

awaken

you

in

my

first

and

final

dream

JPPestana Start To Finish 5.7.202