Without 

this persistent bark

scorch of burnt air 

strains a landscape of 

gray rock and 

old hearts 

scorned

invades this  

rhymeless 

and  

reasonless

place

a sun unrecognizable

broken too long ago to matter

 is gravel

and dust 

swirls about

in a cloud 

of doubt

without

JPPestana

Without3.

3.28.2022

 

It Happens

 

what brings you to me

of all people 

you say you happen to be

in the neighborhood

aloneness comforts me more

than any company

you wish to visit over tea biscuits

impress me with your interest in

all things japanese

sharing then you are like a tiny sea 

caught in the screaming violence

of two competing winds

useless contradictions

arriving you are a colder stranger than imagined

unsmiling unshaven holding a warm beer

out of nowhere you say

a heron great stands in a shallow pool

is the origin of her impossible stillness

an egret passing in front

of a blazing feathered sun becomes

her wondrous invisibility

you then announce the yellow moon has shed

its skin for the first time in the history

of man

you demand I look harder

and see the obvious

I see only blackness upon 

more blackness

he says be damned 

it is miraculous

the heron reflects on this

leans imperceptibly

in its rippled wings

an egret landing delicately

black legs whispering down into low reeds

I wading ever so slowly 

 into the skin of

the now

yellow

glowing

pool

 

JPPestana

It Happens

3.27.2022

 Hollyhocks

she is a wish completed in time

early spring surprises the lion

and the lamb 

coffee fresh with light cream

a cheek's soft kiss

a wish for

hollyhocks

blossoming

before 

their 

time

JPPestana

Hollyhocks

3.25.2022

 

Fourth

a window stares opens to 

a mass of swallows 

frantically they tear away at the air

in no small way they become one 

join with the unnamed man 

on a slight hill in 

a slight of cloud

the woman waiting in the window looks out pleads 

her tears fall to lake mistaken for rain

gentle in wind on petal on leaf on blade 

of blue grass 

her lover has been lost  

she fears for his being 

safe return  

rumors of great cruelties 

mysterious disappearances persist

she barely eats 

her heart hammers pounds 

her meal bleeds before her

she excuses herself

steps from the window 

a weightless cry silk in 

the imagined catch of 

her lover's opened arms

the air cleansed

clears the whine

and cry of

swallows 

bodies 

of 

their

devoured 

clouds

 JPPestana

3.22.2022

Fourth

 White Blossoms

girl 

what do you see from here

songbirds appear from nowhere 

then hidden from me sleeping

your voice is a stillness still captive

held in some distant vacant space

if the earth around you blurs with sky 

glistens into melded silver chrome 

what do you intend to do about it

you listen in ear to the ground 

breath deeply in the gleam

of dogwood blossoms

miles from you one minor orphaned tree

clings to the edge of a busy old road 

feeling the jolt of time

you're spun around

dizzyingly dropped to knees 

buried in white 

blossoms

JPPestana

White Blossoms

3.21.2022

 

Death Of Deaths

this is her death

of deaths

the last choir has gathered sang the anthems

of her life with much passion

the melodies she hummed in the meadows

with her flowers and birds

unsuspecting bees

unexpectedly the sun caught in a crush of

angriest clouds vanishes

leaves her without the joking flirtations

of shadowy figures

nameless friends

a cat indifferently crosses its own path

no one seems to know what it means

angels visit chat among themselves

say things that only angels can imagine

they leave in a thundering drum

there are rumors she loved but went unloved

the unloving testify mightily for their goodness

this is her death of deaths

the heavens may open for her

no one is certain about the gates

holy bells toll in her old movies

images of mourners flickering weep in darkened churches

anoint themselves in their almost hugs

solemn airs 

warmest remembrances  

of themselves

JPPestana

Death Of Deaths

3.19.2022

1Jill Pestana

 

A Lonelier Summer

 

did I believe I knew

all the you of you

even the you you

left in pieces

carelessly strewn

about in our short history

of weakened embraces

summer is lonelier now

the slow rock

of pine sun

never stops to

ask why

gulls over me hover far from any sea

and the want of you

still sounds

in the back

and forth

echo of

 hollow

trembling 

limbs

JPPestana

A Lonelier Summer

3.17.2022

You A Lonelier Summer

did I believe I knew 

all the you of you 

even the you you 

left in pieces

carelessly strewn

about in the history

of weak embraces 

summer is lonelier now

the porch we owned on the lake 

is unchanged but for dust

the slow rocking

of the pine sun 

never stops to

ask why 

and the want

of you still sounds

in the back

and forth 

of hollow

limbs

`JPPestana

You The Lonelier Summer

3.17.2022

 

Red Bank

the dog quivering excitedly

a nervous squirrel  

Wish Upon A Five & Dime

the sky is a half drawn blind

yellow with age the circle one held

on a string long since gone

a collection of old huddled shadows 

humble lives drawn 

down at night raised

for the flight of night

 

 

summer is lonelier

the cabin that held it all

is vacant but for the bugs

and family mice that

call it home

summer is lonelier start again

relive the line above

the line below

it must be the horrors

am I unaware

a hand reaches out

rubs the resting sun from 

the lake of his 

shimmering eye

 And I Wonder Then

 the moon almost touching

the looming uneven ground 

is everything I need it to be 

I am alone with it 

or so it seems

I want it for my own

to slip it in my pocket

an uncommon thief stealing away to 

a secret place to idolize

the wonder of it 

heal in its soothing light

in hushed tones

exchange what we believe we are today

ever hoped to be

and  I wonder

then

JPPestana

And I wonder Then

3.16.2022

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Cruelty

when does the rose 

cease being the rose 

when to save its beauty 

the fragrance is cruelly taken from it

stolen away in the coldest moments

all to make it stronger weaker 

in the sweetest breeze new rain and dew

and when only the beauty is left to see

when the remains of petals are no more

does the dream of you long

for the wild scent

of its sharpest

ancient

thorns 

 

JPPestana

The Cruelty

3.13.2022

 

 

Musings From Nauvoo
http://voodoonauvoo.blogspot.com

A Loss For Words

was there something you

wished to say

in this this much later winter

words seem harder to come by

your grayness exceeds the bleakness

of emptied streets pained

and unremembered hearts

the blank canvas gold framed in the corner

was once hung over the hearth's

licking flames

it was your likeness

a longing thought

of thawing warmth

are you this dead leaf outside

these closed walls

hanging on after a dry death

refusing to fall to

rough ground

for fear of breaking

in pieces

choosing  to listen

to the thick throated cries

of a hypnotic wind

dying down

to nothing

less

JPPestana

A Loss For Words

3.10.2022

Getting Late

am I entirely without grace

without saying

the green mist encircles leads me

I hear myself

a genuflection

in a chapel

of darkly towering trees

through its heavy doors

I look off into the furthest distance

cover familiar ground

around its edges

the footprints still frozen in mud and time 

are likely mine

there are no others walking here

the fallen poplar its tangled roots gaping hole

reveal the bones of saintly creatures

they are stirring now

snow geese in heavy snow falling brings down thousands upon

curtains fields with a whiteness

walking away from me it is

a moving purity

getting late

I retrace my steps

until invisibility

shields me from

the peering eyes

of these passing

graceless

fools

JPPestana

Getting Late

3.9. 2022

 

Life, In Focus

what have you done with all my memories

the ones I had packed organized neatly in the box in the

back of the hall closet

you must know the old box from the forties once my mother's

with taped corners faded roses faded recollections

hidden far in the back under the heavy guard of the panini maker

waffle maker my favorite slow cook chili cooker

I thought they would always be safe

heavily protected from harm or loss

irreplaceable to me they may have been stolen maybe sold at our

last garage sale to some unscrupulous someone rifling through

the stacks of photos decade by decade seeing my younger

brother in a seventies crazy plaid shirt and crazier plaid pants

being sent to elementary school against his will knowing

what was in store for him

after all these years it still brings tears to his eyes

what was mom thinking

wringing my hands holding my aching head

cursing struggling to recreate the years since I last saw it

hopelessly I realize I may never see it again

that everything I once was is gone that is

until a moment of enlightenment

when I suddenly remember I

had moved my memories from the closet

to the basement to make room

for a bread maker

that's never

baked.

JPPestana

Life In Focus

3.6.2022