No Regret

is this long repeating talk of robins in dogwood enough

he thinks the sound of it is more than enough to echo

into the hollow of his soul it is more than sweet enough

to end this very moment

reasonless the wind saws away in pine taller than the sun

it is caught up in long branches torn

in the back and forth of sawdust clouds

it blinds one eye

you still see it for everything it is

it celebrates his sightlessness like some drunken actor

singing an ancient Irish song

in a dark and

vacant hall

and more than morning robins calling to each other

more than the hollow persistent drum inside of him

more than the word of her that lingers like

a combing breeze in long fields of lavender

when every sound somehow becomes one

he retreats to his pleasing emptiness

with little more than

no regret

JPPestana

No Regret

May 31, 2023

 Did She

did she say all blossoms are songs
each one written then so easily erased in a mist
languishing without reason
she stayed with me when the last fell darkly pink
from the oldest tree
a spring abandoned in a clamor of sameness
a chorus of tears
was their more or less of her before I became this
I don't remember if I am now
or when
if ever

JPPestana
Did She
16 April 2023

 

The Tremble

this listening wind is all this is

no stranger than anything else it follows me to here

then there back again

this is the between of me

the all or nothing

the unremembered voices tremble

elude the pursuit of old what was once new

relentlessly searching

held ever so lovingly

squeezed sweetly

until utterly

completely

alive

The Tremble

1.26.2023

JPPestana

 

Her

it isn't enough to see listen

the gulls cry wildly above

stealing bits of cloud daring thieves returning

on currents of bright air

do they now return what they have stolen from me

it is all the ring and chime at once

merging this other place this other time

a craving sun worshiping sea as far as the eye

witness to this dangerous orchestration of wave upon wave

crashing desperately

onto a shore

less certain

than

I

JPPestana

Her

12.15.2022

 

Loose Ends

 

under the rain shaken free

from the maple's golden shade

from the torrent the day before before

how does it remain in its glistening drops

stay with me in dreamless days and

nights awakened by the sound and tremor

of a life this dazingly (madly)

unaware

JPPestana

Loose Ends

10.14.2022

 

The Last Fall

reach for me as the perfect petals

of the last flower does reaching 

for a failing sun

am I failing with it

and when does one question leave shadows

darker now encroaching devouring

every little thing

rhyme and reason still struggle

unannounced unseen unheard

yet the sky quakes from the silent roar

of her answering

outstretched

eyes

 

The Last Fall

JP Pestana

10.18.2022

 

The Porch

dogs sit idly beside my melancholy

it is a holy right for now maybe ever

we rest in its blunt protections

of a summer morning glaring

in its own creeping heat

I wonder aloud about a heron blue as day stuck

against the palest smudge of leftover moon

why doesn't it just fly away be free from us

from our still willows that have never wept before

that shade each other give easy comfort

dogs leave me and collapse in shadows

pant in the blankness

in the shunning

of anything that

might remain

JP

Updated

The Porch

8.18.2021

JPPestana